Remember before you had kids, and you had all those dreams? Then remember actually having kids and all those dreams being dashed?? Yea, me too. Before you are a mom, you never truly realize how it’s going to be. Even if you were an older sibling or babysat or even was a teacher- you will NEVER know what it’s like being down in the trenches, butt deep in diapers, leaky boobs, crying toddlers and sassy 8 year olds until you experience it and live to tell the tale.
Before I was a mom I SWORE there were SOOO many things I would do this way or that way and had this HUGE list of things I said I would never, ever do- and guess what?? 8 and a 1/2 years into my parenthood experiences I have done so, so many of them. Why?? Because parenthood is like the ultimate game of Survivor, except the exotic island is a house in the suburbs and the hot guys and chicks are poopy babies, crying toddlers, and attitude-filled big kids. There is no being voted off- you are stuck there for better and for worse, for sickness and for health and for happy times and through the worst. We stay because we must…we stay because we love every stressful minute…and we stay because we have learned how to survive and how to adapt. We have become MOTHERS.
Here’s a hilarious sample of things I said I would never, ever do as a mom but so totally have done- whether I liked it or not.
1. I swore I would never give my kids fast food– oh you know you did too! And while, we don’t eat it very often at all- I’d be lying if I said I have never given my kids three meals of “happiness” and “delight” just because we were busy so I was too tired to cook.
2. I said I would never bribe my kids– and then the universe laughed and laughed and laughed. I have bribed my kids with a million things- marshmallows, candy, extra tablet time- you name it. Yes, I know it’s not the “best” but neither is the Starburst I just ate but I did it anyways, huh??
3. I said I would never lie to my kids. HA. I lie all of the time- not in a bad way, of course, but I have lied to get my kids into bed (you HAVE to sleep because if you don’t then you can’t grow- EVER.) I have lied to get them to eat (yes, those are little green trees and they will give you magical super powers if you eat them!) and I have lied just because (No, I don’t know who finished the ice cream! <—- it was me)
4. I said I would never let my kid’s carry a crappy character backpack. Only Pottery Barn for you guys!! Umm, riiiight. I STILL hate those dumb Spiderman or Lisa Frank backpack but I have realized they are not for me, they are for them, so I must learn to “compromise” (and I use that word loosely)
5. I would never buy my kid’s second hand clothes. I don’t do this too much because they give me the creeps (slightly) but I have purchased a few items every now and again. But not from a yard sale- I just can’t bring myself to do it!
6. I said I would never give my kids baby food from a jar. I didn’t do this that much either (I actually loved making my own baby food!) but I did keep a stock of Earth’s Best jars in my cupboard, just in case.
7. I said I would never give my kids cereal for supper. Whoops.
8. I said I would never compare my kids. I’ve done this too. I know all kids develop at their own pace and I know that they all get there in due time, but I’d be lying if I hadn’t been secretly excited or jealous about a milestone my kids had hit that another friend’s kid did or didn’t. I’m a jerk I know haha.
9. I said I would never nurse my kids to sleep and I would train them right away to fall asleep. I still laugh at myself at this one. Night one I was doing this- and then my oldest NEVER slept and then I swore I wouldn’t do it again with my second and guess what I did?? And yes again with the third. I never learned. They did eventually learn to sleep though- it just took a long, long, long time- and I did cherish those night time nursing sessions, now that they are over, of course.
10. I said I would never let my kids put a binkie in their mouth without washing it first. Yup- some mommy honesty here! I can’t even count how many times my kid’s dropped the one clean binkie I had with us when we were out and they were screaming and I had no choice to clean it with my own mouth and give it back to them. Nasty! Oh well, it’s about survival, right??
I know we are not perfect and I guess I did an ok job because my kids are all happy (most of the time) and healthy so I’ll take it.
What did you say you would never, ever do as a mom??