Do you read Alyson’s blog, The Shitastrophy? Well if you are not then you are a fool and are missing out because she is not only hilarious but completely honest about life; two qualities I love. I am so lucky to have her visiting here, with me, today!
Here’s a bit more about The Shitastrophy:
Originally from NJ, Alyson now lives in the Midwest but has kept her sarcastic cynical Jersey attitude. She has to make a conscious effort to not curse in most conversations. She is the mother of two kids that provide constant fodder for her blog, The Shitastrophy. Her husband lives in fear that every thing he does or says will be highlighted in her next post, Face Book update, or Tweet. Alyson loves her two huge Bernese Mountain Dogs, even if they do eat their weight in food each month. She has completed her memoir, The Shitastrophy: A Collection of Ridiculous Events, and is in the process of trying to find an agent.
On to the post!
Am I the Mean Mom?
This summer the hubs thought it would be an awesome idea to get Taylor Swift tickets for our 8 year old daughter. Unbeknownst to me, he purchased 2 floor seat tickets for me and her to attend one of the hottest concerts of the summer (at least to her world – I totally wanted to go to Lollapalooza).
He undoubtedly had visions of grandeur on how this wonderful father daughter moment was going to go down. I am sure he saw her jumping up and down, screaming, possibly throwing her arms around his neck solidifying his rock star status. Here is how it actually went down.
Hubs calls her in to our sunroom. “I have a surprise for you!”
Our daughter is beaming and so excited she can barely handle it.
He hands her a folded up piece of paper, she quickly unfolds it while he is watching her, excited about this opportunity.
She looks up, a look of concern on her face (clearly not what he was expecting). She stands there in front of both of us, quietly processing what this means.
He is watching her, waiting for the reaction he assumed was an obvious one – glee, happiness, squealing. Basically any reaction other than the one he got. He leans in and is waiting for it. She then sealed her fate with me.
“Only two?” she barely a whispers, but it might as well been screamed.
He looked at me and I saw the flash of anger, the disappointment. He got up and walked away.
And now she had my full attention. I.Was.Tweaked. I looked at her and told her in no uncertain terms that that was the most horrible reaction should could have had. That she hurt her father, and that I didn’t care what it took but she was going to fix it – now.
I made up my mind at that moment she would not be attending this concert. Clearly she did not appreciate this gift from her father.
A few weeks later her attitude and behavior signed, sealed, and delivered the reality that she would definitely NOT be attending the Taylor Swift Red tour. I informed our 8 year old that I would be giving the tickets away. She was not happy.
When I tell this story to people the common reaction I have had is, “Wow! you are a good mom – I am not sure I could have done that!” Even the hubs has agreed that it was all me and that he would have probably caved and let her go (over my dead body).
I then inform them, yup I am the mean mom – and I am proud of it. But this brings the bigger question, why is this such a surprise that I forbid her from attending this show? Is it because we ate the cost of the tickets to prove the point? Or that I stuck to my guns, no matter what, and was not going to allow anything to sway my decision?
Growing up this would have been a no brainer, but sometimes it seems now parents prefer to bend verse have the battle with their child. Yes, I was pissed to eat cost of the tickets, and Yes I was pissed to have to be the mean/bad mom and withhold this chance from her. But in the end my point was delivered right between the eyes.
Parenting is not about being your child’s friend, parenting is about raising children that respect opportunities and people. I think if more of us decided to do the hard thing more often, eventually we would have to do the difficult thing less often.
What’s your thought? Would you have taken your daughter? Was I just being an ass? Should I start saving for her therapy?
What do you think? Would you have done the same thing? I probably would have…
Special thanks to Alyson for visiting my little bloggy blog today! Now, go do what I said and give her some love! Tell her I sent you 🙂