14 years, 3 months, 5 days

14 years, 3 months, and 5 days. That is how long I have been here in Arizona. It’s no secret that it’s never been my favorite place to be. Arizona and I have had a tumultuous relationship over the years, we’ve had our ups and downs, our highs and our lows. I’ve made some amazing friends here and lost some too along the way. I have some of the very, very, very best things happen to me here and I have the absolute worst things to happen to me here too.

14 years ago when I came down here with Mr. Pea I had a U-Haul of stuff, a college transfer letter to the University of Arizona and a big dream. We were just kids with barely a kitchen dish set between us. Fast forward 14+ years and we have a marriage, three babies, a mortgage, car payments, stock options, a retirement plan and zero free time. Have things always been easy? Heck no, but we’ve worked together as a team and made it through all of our obstacles.

One of my biggest struggles with being here was with missing my family. I don’t have a big family, just my Mom, brother and sister, but we have always been close. As the years went by and our families got larger and plane tickets got more expensive, our trips home became fewer and farther in between. It literally costs us almost $2000 to fly home- who the heck has that kind of money just laying around? Not us and not my family.

When my mom was sick three years ago, it was so hard for me not to be there with her. I was so mad at myself that I wasn’t closer. It was the worst time in my life. I had to tell my sister to let me know when I had to fly out, when there was no time left. When that phone call came, my life would be forever changed. Life seemed more precious and I missed my family even more than before.

Even with all of this missing, if you flipped the coin, there was our life here. I always wished we could be closer, but we have been so lucky to be in an area that we loved, in a neighborhood with people that love my babies as much as I do with friends that would meet me in the street with honey at night because I have a cough, and with a school that feels like a second home. So many happy times, so many amazing people. But we knew it wasn’t permanent, even though we didn’t talk about it much, we knew this wouldn’t be our forever home. It always felt like I was holding my breath, just waiting.

So the day we have finally been waiting for has come. We have got the call and have been offered an opportunity that we cannot pass up. Mr. Pea has been promoted and we are moving. Where you ask??

Drum roll please……..

Pennsylvania!

I am so excited, freaked out, stressed, happy, and a little sad all wrapped up in one.

I am so excited to be 5 1/2 hours away from my family.

I am excited for seasons.

I am excited to be more Northeast again.

I am excited for snow.

I am excited to be a short drive from amazing cities like Philadelphia and New York City.

I am excited for houses with stairs and basements and grass that grows on it’s own.

But……

I am nervous about the move.

I am nervous about being here on my own with three kids when Mr. Pea has to go ahead of us.

I am sad to leave our friends.

I am sad to leave this house, where all of my babies were brought home to.

I am sad that my youngest won’t start kinder with the same amazing teacher that my older two had.

I am sad to take my kids from their friends.

I am sad to leave the absolute best school that any kids (or mom) can ask to be apart of.

I am scared that we won’t find the perfect house, or school, or neighborhood.

But life is about choices, taking chances and adventures and this move is all three of those. Where we end of will be our forever home, I won’t move these kids again. I want to find the perfect town for them to grow up in, and I pray they make life long friends there from elementary school, to high school, to college, to marriages and babies, like I have from where I grew up.

So, there you have it. As the saying goes, when life closes one door it opens another, and we prepare to close the door on our Arizona life we are ready to begin the next chapter living in Pennsylvania. I’ll never forget one person we met here and will cherish each and every single laugh, memory, glass of wine and hug I have had with all of my friends here. I am so very thankful for everyone that has taken me into their life and made me apart of it. I am thankful for each friend my kids have made and I will do my very best to allow them to hold on to the most important ones via email, phone and good old fashioned snail mail. I am thankful for social media too, so I can keep in touch with every one.

I hope you stay with me on this journey and I plan on sharing more on what it’s like to move three kids across the country…and I have some more good bye posts coming up as well.

So, Arizona…I’m sorry but this isn’t going to work out. No, it’s not you, it’s me. We just weren’t a good fit, but you will always hold a special place in my heart. And, while I know you will never be the same without me, I hope you can move on. You’ve been great. Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. xo